Time does fly by

I haven't written a blog since being in Honduras...and I actually was not planing to. But my good friend Tiffany Blaser who is far away in Hawaii taskfoce working told me I needed to keep it up...So this is my attempt...

Honestly I don't feel like I have anything to write that would interest anyone. I do miss that. When I was in Honduras I felt like a had a purpose and like I was doing something fun and exciting that people would actually want to read. Now I feel like I am back to the mundane life of a college student.

I have two midterms tomorrow that I am far less prepared for than I would like to be. But its close to midnight and I have given up on studying for the night. Its been an emotional day...I have cried alot. Sometimes its good to just cry.

I guess school just feels like a waist of time. What is the point of it again? I just don't have much motivation lately.

There are so many things that I miss about Honduras

1. The slow pace of life
2. Dead lines not really being dead lines
3. Tuesday being coffee day with Emily
3. Dinners with all the SM's
4. Taking a walk to central park
5. Political, God, Life talks with Mark
6. Looking out my window and seeing donkeys eating the grass
7. My students running at me when I walk in the class to give me a hug
8. Kiss on the check to say goodbye
9. Soccer
10. Listening to the rain poor down
11. The warmth
12. Watching 24 with Karen
13. The food
14. Smelly uniform shirts (at least I knew what I would wear everyday)
15. Drying my clothes on the line
16. Saturday movie nights
17. Sunday market runs
18. Cooking for 8 (how do you cook for just 1? It just seems weird and there are always left overs!)
19. Reading for fun
20. Our "family"

I have really been unorganized since being back. I can not keep up my day planer for the life of me. I am always in a rush to get stuff done. I even forgot I had a test one day! Its just different being back...I guess I am still facing some of the reentry and culture shock stuff. I thought I would be good to go by now...but not quite yet...I'm working on it...

There are things that I love about being back too though...don't worry...but its getting late...so maybe I'll make that my next blog.

Pictures! Pictures!! And More Pictures!!!

Well its actually over...we had our last day of school today! Its hard to believe that its actually over...I am really looking forward to being home and normalness again...but at the same time I am scared too. Its hard to explain.

Well here are a bunch of pictures. Julio took us up in the Bell tower of the cathedral. We each pain the guy 20 limps. Julio says money makes the monkey dance...some saying I guess. Anyway it was really cool. We got some great pictures. I actually even rang the bell...it was an accident...I was walking over to the window to look down at the shadow of the church and my leg hit the wierd and my shorts got caught. It was loud and I was scared the watch man was going to be mad...lori said he looked over real quick but I think he realized it was an accident. It was pretty funny...and now I get to say that I rang the bell! Pretty sweet!

Anyway I will be home soon! Cant wait to see you all! Much Love!

12 more days in Honduras

So its my last full day of teaching...I dont know how to feel...the mixed emotions are enough to drive a person crazy.

Tomorrow is Thursday but I only teach two classes cause we are taking both 3rd grade classes to Pizza Hut to celebrate the end of the year. Then Friday I will only have two classes as well cause we get out of school early to meet with the parents.

All next week we just place exams. The kids will leave by 11am.

Its weired. Its like the end is here and insight...and at the same time it feels so far away still...it does not feel real. Sometimes I feel like it cant come fast enough and I wish I was leaving today...but then at other times I am on the verge of crying just thinking about leaving.

Last week I was teahing in 3A just before lunch...the bell rings and all my kids go running outside. As I step out of the class room I am grabed by Ramon from 3B...he hugs me tight and says is it ture Miss. I ask him what cause I really have no idea what he is asking about. He says that you leave and go back to Walla Walla Washington (They love to say Walla Walla Washington...they think it is such a funny name). I asked him who said this...partly trying to stall actually answering him...I did not really get an answer that I could understand from him and then I tell him yes it is true I have to go home...that is where my family is and I have to finish scool myself. He just hugs me tighter and looks up at me and says no Miss I dont want you to go...and then he hopps away to go get his lunch. I had to fight back the tears as I walked to the teachers lounge. I dont want to leave him either is the thing...I dont want to leave any of my students...but as I think about him hopping off to get his lunch I know that he will be okay...and I will as well.

I got a myspace commet from one of my freinds today in response to my quote on my myspace page..."When they said Disneyland was the happiest place in the world...they really meant Walla Walla" she said its true that happiness can be found in walla walla (and other places, too). Its true! We can find happiness anywhere! Or as my mom always says...happiness is a choice. It used to dive me nuts...but in many aspects I have realy found that to be true.

Much love!
Mindy

My creative side

I went to get coffee this week during one of my free periods and sat down at one of the tabels in the mall, feeling kind of melancholy I started writing on my napkin...and this is what came out...

Life

What is life?
When all you want is more
When waking up in the morning becomes the hardest thing you ever have to do

What is wrong with this place...
This world we call home
Certainly this is not what was meant to be

There has to be more
I know there is more

Thank God this is not my home
But also thank God this journey is not over yet

There is still more...
More to learn...
More to see...
More to do...
More to say...
Yes there is still so much more.

This is life!

Crash

I was watching the movie crash the other night. If you have not seen this movie it is a must! I have seen it many times and I still just love this movie. The part that hit me last night is when Sandra Bullocks character is talking to her friend on the phone about how angry she is. She says she is angry and all the time and she does not even know why. This got me because it was not more than just a few weeks ago that I was feeling this way. I could not pin point any reason for my anger...it was just there...I would get frustrated with the other missionaries here, I was so angry at the administration, angry at this country of Honduras and the culture of these people, I was angry that I was teaching at a bilingual school of rich kids, and this then made me mad at God. Why had he brought me here to Honduras! Why did this have to be my year as a SM. I did not feel like I was making a difference in this world.

Now I don't feel like this anger anymore...maybe this is partly due to the fact that I only have 21 more days here. But I just find it interesting how this happens. How can someone get this angry? How does this emotion take over our lives like that? The movie just made me think about this...so I thought I would share.

Just another day in paradise?

This is a semi-revised journal entery for the other night...

I wake up every morning tired and exhausted from a partial night sleep where I toss and turn all night long. Partly form the heat and partly from random dreams, that seem to haunt my sleep. Dreams about home, dreams about here in Hondruas, dreams about friends…and just random dreams. I hit the snooze button at least 2 times each morning and just make it up in time to shut if off before the next alarm goes off. I shuffle my way to the bathroom where I plug in and turn on my straightener and put on my uniform…what color depends on the day. Shirts off white, maroon, gray, blue, or red. Pants black or kaki. I place my keys around my neck and my watch on my wrist and then open my door to go to the kitchen where my roommates are already making themselves breakfast and packing a lunch. As a person who hates mornings and a over all selfish human being I dream of having the house to myself at these early hours…but that is not the case so I try to be as nice as possible, sometimes this means I just don’t say anything at all. If I had this year to do over again I think I would splurge and buy that coffeepot I so often thought about. I think that would have made life a little better for everyone. But now with only 3 and a half weeks left its just not worth it.

The walk to school is filled with small talk between one or two other missionaries. By the time I have reached the school I am already hot and sweaty because the humidity is so bad. I swear the sun is hitting us straight on. Its just not right to be sweating before 7am! Then its off to a quick staff worship…its all in Spanish, a language I have learned to tune out quite well in large group settings. That is I really only understand Spanish when it is spoken directly at me in slow easy vocabulary…and even then it can be sketchy…and my answers in return seem to be limited to bien, bueno, si, no or siemprie. Its not that I have not learned other words but my brain just seems to freeze up when I have to speak.

After that the day seems to screech by in a torcherous blur of class after class of hyper, screaming, fighting kids. Don’t get my wrong…I love them to death but man they wear me out and I just wish they would be quiet for two seconds. I have figured out how to keep most of them in their seats for the most part but dang these kids have lungs on them.

Afternoons zip by way to fast with grading, errands, dinner and other chores. At the end of the day when I reflect on how it was...the things that I realize that make my day worth while are the hugs and laughs I had with my students. These next three weeks I want to remember this and take advantage of all the hugs and laughs I can have with my kids. I know they are what is going to make this place heartbreaking to leave. It really is true that as a missionary you come to teach but in reality you really are the one learning the most.

April 20 (Birthday Photos) 21 years old!

So I have been meaning to post these for a few weeks now. But better late than never I guess. My birthday was on Sunday so I will admit that it was nice not to have to teach. We had Apple Pie with dinner (thanks to Karen) to celebrate my birthday. The next day my 3B students suprissed me with a birthday cake! My freind Julio gave me a Honduras Selection Jersey for my birthday. Stacy made me an amazing breakfast! Anyway you´ll see these pictures down bellow.

77 Days

Sunday April 6, 2008

This week should be pretty chill. The school decided to have a week of exams and not teach during that time. So the kids come to school in the morning as always and have 3 exams and then go home for the rest of the day. They are doing this in hopes that the children will go home and study and do better on their exams…we shall see.

It will be nice for all of us. We will have the day to grade our tests and get the grades ready and not have to worry about teaching new material.

Karen, Michelle, Stacy and I all went shopping for the groceries for the week. While we were walking Karen calculated that we only have 77 days till we come home! We had been counting down the weeks but decided that its getting low enough that we can count the days! We also calculated the actual days of teaching and its only like 38! You can tell we are all getting pretty ancy to come home!

Stacy just went crazy in the house and is cleaning everything! She even moped and rearranged the couches. I came back from the internet café where I called home and found my laundry had been hanging out on our line all folded and on my bed. Now she is cleaning out the cupboards! She says she is avoiding making her spelling parcial test.

Let me also juts say it is so freaking hot here in Honduras! And its not a nice dry heat…no this is a sticky humid heat! But I hear back at home everyone is still freezing and would love to get some of this heat…so I guess I’ll try to enjoy it for you all.

I have been having a lot of my kids ask me if I am coming back next year to teach them in 4th grade. This is always a hard question for me…I don’t like having to look at them and tell them ¨No I am going back to the United States I need to finish school and all my family lives in there¨. They don’t like this answer and respond with ¨Noooo Miss¨! It does make me sad to think I probably wont see them again…it saddens me to look at them and think about how they are so young and innocent now and the fact that they are going to have a tough life ahead of them…and to think about the type of life they will probably have living here in Honduras. It makes me wish that I could always be there for them and keep them on a straight path and make sure they have a good life. I guess all I can do is hope that I have been there for them this year…and hopefully gave them some much needed love…and hope that that somehow was enough to make some sort of difference in there lives.

I am ready...

I feel a little bad saying this but I am so ready for this to be over! I am ready to be home and back to a normal life. I was just talking to Lori at lunch and I said I cant wait for this to be done...and I dont just mean today...she said I know...and then I say and I dont just mean this week...and she says I know...then I said I mean this whole year! I am ready to go home! And she says me too...

At this point it just feels like everything is dragging out...we are so close to the end yet so far away. Its not like things are bad...infact things are pretty good. I think we are all pretty used to teahing and what we have to do now and everything runs smooth for the most part. We are just ready to go home!

I miss family and friends so much and can not wait to just be able to talk and hang out with you all again!

June 22nd...June 22nd...it will be here soon right?

Semana Santa

Written Sunday March 23, 2008

This past week was Semana Santa (Holy Week) so we had the whole week off. It was really nice to have some time off from school and get to do some travelling. I originally started the trip off pretty bad by getting really sick Saturday night and throwing up most of the night. I was able to get a few hours of sleep though and then we left at 5:30 in the morning for Copan. We got to Copan around 1 and checked into our Hotel and went to a restaurant for lunch. After lunch we headed off to see the Copan Ruins. It was really a cool place. We had a tour guide but he only spoke Spanish so Pastor Trundle would translate for us. I’ll post a few pictures of Copan at the bottom.

The next day we left Copan for La Ceiba. This is where Pastor and Jessie´s family live and they were very nice and let us stay at their place. The weather for going out to the island that we planed on was not ideal so instead we went to a beach in Trujillo. We took a little speedboat ride out on the water. It was a nice beach…I stayed in the shade as much as I could though cause I did not want to get burned. After the beach they took us to an old fort museum. That was pretty cool to see.

The next day we walked all around La Ceiba and shopped around. La Ceiba is a nice city and its much greener than Comayagua and the beach is really close.

We were going to try to stop at the beach in Tela on the way home but it was raining so we had to skip it. It was a long drive back. Lots of traffic and car accidents due to everyone travelling for Semana Santa. Jessie got a flat tired that we had to stop and fix in the rain. But with the help of Pastor, Greg and Lance we got the spare on without too much trouble.

Good Friday is a big deal here in Comayagua. They put sawdust carpets down in crazy intricate designs (see pictures bellow). Then they have a processional that walks through the city and walks over all the carpets.

Over all it was a really good break…but it did make me homesick. Not having to teach and then kimmie having her mom and aunt here, and stacy having her boyfriend here, Marks mom coming to visit, Katrina having a friend here...pluss just seeing a bunch of Americans around for the Holy Week. Its been nice but we are getting closer to the end…and yes I am counting down the weeks…and its 13 in case you were wondering.

Its back to school tomorrow! Please keep us in your prayers as we finish out this school year!

Much Love!
Mindy

Parasite and Fishing

Written March 11, 2008

Last week seems like a blur. I came down with a parasite…I was feeling sick since Monday or Tuesday but I finally told Loida on Wednesday morning cause I was feeling so bad I could not even function without breaking down in tears. She took me to the doctor and the doctor said I had parasites…I don’t really know how they could tell but I was put on some meds and was feeling much better within a day. I basically spent all Wednesday in Karens Air-conditioned room watching movies. The doctor told me to stay home for two days but Loida called that evening and said if I was feeling much better that I should come to school cause Pastor Trundle needed me there…mostly what she meant was there are a lot of teachers sick so please come back cause we don’t have anyone to take your classes. Anyway I was feeling much better so I went to school the next day and we made it through the week…Friday we did not have to teach classes we just had to sit in the gym all day and give parents grades. It was so hot in the gym! It felt like an oven!

Nothing too eventful happened over the weekend. It was pretty relaxing. Miss Norma Vega had Lori, Karen and I over for Sabbath lunch. She has had us over twice and both times the food has been amazing! Its really nice of her to have us over cause she does not speak any English and we hardly speak any Spanish.

Its now Tuesday afternoon…this week is actually flying by pretty quickly. We don’t teach class again on Friday because its fathers day so they are having some special fathers day thing…not really sure what all this entails yet. Okay…and who knew that fathers day was on different dates in each country! The other day at dinner some of the SMs started talking about the fathers day stuff and I was like isn’t fathers day in June…and they were like yeah in the US. I was like it should be the same in every country. I was like we celebrate the same Christmas and Easter! Those should be different too then! They told me that was different and I pretty much got yelled at again for being a closed minded American. I just think it would make more sense to have all holidays on the same day in every country! What can you do though!

Oh we counted the weeks we have left here in Honduras and I have 15 more weeks till I get to come home! And there is only like 12 more weeks of actual teaching! Its kind of crazy to think about…

We have all next week off form school and we are going to go to Copan and La Ceiba! I am really excited to get to do some travelling and see some more of Honduras! We will be back for Good Friday and all the Easter celebrations here in Comayagua. I guess it’s a pretty big deal here!

The pictures are from last Sunday when we went on a fishing trip and picnic with some people form the school. It was a lot of fun to get out and do something for a change.

A punch in the nose

Okay…so i´m going to try and keep this story as short as I can…

Friday first thing I do in the morning is take 3rd B to chapel. Well I am on my way to the classroom and the first thing I see is Steven running out of the class with a bloody nose. I mean blood was going everywhere. He was crying and I was trying to calm him down and keep his head up. Emily was on her way to her 4th grade class when she saw me and immediately said ¨what can I do¨…all my kids were yelling about Jorge hitting Steven in the nose so I just said ¨someone needs to find Jorge¨. Then next thing I know Greg is there and has Jorge and Miss Claudia and Miss Natalie take Steven. I had to get my kids to chapel…but after I had them settled in the church I went to check on Steven. He was doing fine and was back in class later that morning. It just made me so sad that they could do that to each other.

This is where the craziness of the day comes in…some how counsellors of the school decided not to suspend Jorge. You have no idea how angry this made all the teachers. Miss Graciela (the homeroom 3rd grade teacher) was chewing them out about it by the time Greg and I got there to talk about it. We were pretty much blown off and told that well since Steven was hitting Jorge with a paintbrush they were not going to suspend him. I was so angry and told her that by them not suspending him it is showing all my students that it is okay to behave like that in the class. That it is okay to punch someone in the nose cause there will be no consequences. This is why my class room has been so insane! The students here are not afraid of anything because no one follows through with what they say!

Greg and I were so frustrated so we decided to go straight to Principle Trundle. We told him the whole ordeal and I told him how disappointed I am with this especially because I had just come to him on Wednesday and talked to him about getting counsellor support and needing them to help me out by cracking down on my kids and having some consequences for their actions because as it is now they are not afraid of anything and my class has been out of control and it makes it impossible to teach. And he had told me that we would talk with Denis and we would get this problem fixed…and now two days later one of my students punches someone in the nose and there are no consequences. Greg told Trundle that this should not even be an issue because the school has the policy that fighting means suspension…but that’s the problem! This school does not follow through with anything they say! These kids are allowed to run wild and do whatever they want!

All of us are having trouble with this. And I don’t just mean the missionaries. It’s a whole school issue. Tomorrow I am going to Principle Trundle and asking him when we can have a meeting. Us missionaries have decided to sit down with him and go over the issues we are each having and then we want to ask for a meeting with him and the counsellors and see if we can get some support in the area of discipline.

Please keep us, our students, and the Maranatha School in your prayers.

My kids

Ramon and Carlos

Written Thursday Feb. 21, 2008

Looking through my pictures of my students I am filled with this incredible love. Its an insane feeling of love…so strong that it makes my heart feel like it will burst. It’s a feeling of a totally complete fullness of love.

Today I was sitting at the teachers desk…which is a rare occurrence cause normally I am chasing someone around the class room or rushing from desk to desk trying to answer questions. They had a math test today and I told them that after the test it needed to stay quiet and they could work on a picture until the next class period. I was actually really amazed at how good they were. I mean it was not perfect…about 6 of my boys were actually writing sentences cause they were running around the class before the test. But anyway back to the story…so I was sitting in my desk and I looked around and for once every single one of my students where in their desk as well…and working on their test or picture or sentence or something it did not really matter what they were doing I was just so impressed that they were actually listening to what I had said…and I just watched them. I looked at them so intent on what they were doing and all I could do was smile because I realized how much I love them.

And they love me to…as crazy as it is…even this week when I have felt like I have had to be such a mean teacher trying to get my class room under control…and some times I even get ¨Miss you are bad¨ because they are not happy with me for making them write sentences because they are not obeying the rules or that I won’t let them go the bathroom the second I walk in the door. Even when I think they hate me…it is still guaranteed that every time I walk into a class I will have at least 3 students run up and rap there arms around my waist for a hug. And just today I received two pictures telling me that I was a great teacher and that they loved me. It makes me feel good to know that they still love me even when I feel like I have to been so mean.

Looking through my pictures this evening and feeling so full of love…I also realize how hard it is going to be to leave here in 4 months. To think that I wont be here next year to teach them, or play with them, or joke around and laugh with them.

Today I started talking funny trying to get my students to actually listen to me in science and Angel says ¨Miss you are a cowboy¨…he has said this before so I’m thinking that the only other voice I can do must sound pretty hickish…probably cause I come from Walla Walla. Oh and that’s another thing! My students love to say Walla Walla. They think it is the funniest name in the world. I have a green water bottle that says Walla Walla University and it happens quite frequently that one of them will see it and start saying it and before I know it the whole class is saying Walla Walla and cracking up. There are just so many fun moments that I have with my students that I know I am going to miss so much next year.

Ay the mix of emotions I have had this week! So ready to go home and tired of everything, feeling like my students don’t even care and just wanting to give up…and at the same time realizing that when I have to leave how heart breaking it will be.

Written Friday Feb. 22, 2008 11am

Yep more crazy emotions! I am so mad and frustraited with this school and the administration and the counsellors. Its all a bunch of crap! But I have to teach soon so I dont have time to go into it...there will be another blog about this all soon though.

Bittersweet (Bug Spray)

The other day I put on some bug spray that I have not used since coming back from Christmas. The smell reminded me of an earlier time in Honduras, towards the beginning of my adventure here…I realized it is a bittersweet smell and I wondered if the smell of cutter skinsations insect repellent will always remind me of Honduras...

Packages!!!!!!

As and SM receiving a package can totally make your day. Seriously I had close to one of the worst days again. Students still don’t listen and are fighting in class…counsellors and administration still not helping. I am tired and worn out physically and mentally but I got a package slip today! Oh yes a package slip and that can totally turn your day around! Karen and I both received a package slip so after school we walked together to the post office in the burning afternoon soon…sweating to death hauling our backpacks. Its been getting crazy hot and will only get worse from here on out! March, April and May are supposed to be killer. I can’t wait!

Anyway it was a package from my aunt. When I got back to house…it was void of roommates which is a rare occurrence. So I set my package down on the table and tried to cut the tape with the closest object I could find (a pen)…that did not work so well so I went and grabbed a knife from the kitchen. The first thing I see is plastic bags from Fred Meyer and Wal-Mart. Its weird but when you are living in a foreign country even plastic bag from stores from home can make you smile. As I searched through my package I find ritz crackers, two types of pasta, chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate…including my favourites reeses and almond roca, sweethearts, animal crackers, pretzels, granola bars, popcorn and goldfish. This might not sound amazing to someone who is living in the United States but trust me as an SM I was ecstatic to receive these things! You can just feel the love when you open up a package…knowing that they took the time and thought of putting together all these things for you…not to mention that it cost an arm and a leg to send to Honduras!

Anyway this blog goes out to all the amazing people that have sent me packages while being here in Honduras! And its also to remind me that I have to make sure and send friends packages who go out next year…

Exhaustion takes over

Written Tuesday Feb. 19, 2008

I’m exhausted, discouraged, worn out, overworked, tired, outvoted, lonely, drained and just ready to go home. And I still have 4 months to go…

I have had insomnia or nightmares for the past two weeks…this makes teaching difficult since I am always tied and have trouble finding the energy to deal with my very energetic 3rd graders. They have given me so much trouble for the past three weeks. 3b will never listen and I can never get through anything I have planned to teach them. Today I took 2 class periods to just to teach math and had to skip science. During bible (the last class of the day) I just kept sending kids out to run around the cancha whenever they acted up. I just can’t deal with them in the class…there is no hope in teaching when they are running around yelling and fighting with each other…so since they have energy and seem to want to run that’s what I let them do…plus I was tired of yelling and running around trying to get then to stay in their seats…its all in vain anyway…the second I turn my back to get someone else in their seat they are back up and running around again. I feel like a bad mean teacher…can I just have one day where they all listen and want to learn?

I actually found myself jealous of a chicken today…no for real I am not joking. I was on my way to the internet café to call home when I saw a mother hen with about 7 baby chicks…they all followed her every move. They were so obedient! I stopped to watch them for a minute…they were really cute and I could not help but think…how come baby chickens can be so obedient but my students wont listen to a word I say.

Again I ask…can I just have one day where they all listen and want to learn?