Dream Team

I was walking to class and ran into three really good friends. All of us going in different directions...off to our next class and all of us soon to be late if we stopped to talk for long. But we could not help but come together. To stop and say hello and laugh at this amazing encounter. The sun was shinning and blue sky overhead. It was just a brief minute or two but I could not have been happier than I was in that moment. As I hurried off to my next class I could not help but smile to myself and think how lucky I am to have such great friends. Each of us all so unique and different in so many ways. I know form a distance we might look like an odd set of friends. But that's what makes life so great! We each have our own views and ideas on life that we can share with each other and help broaden each others views on the world. We have had many talks about life, love, and God. We get deep and are always real. Its good to have friends you feel comfortable enough to be 100% honest with, friends that you can let your true feelings and ideas flow.

I wrote the above a couple of weeks ago in my notebook during class. I probably should have been paying attention to the lecture or participating in the debate but I did not want to forget how I felt in that moment and I had to jot it down. I saw it in my notebook today and laughed...I was not feeling so positive on life today...

It has just been one of those days...I have been so tired and on the verge of getting sick. I just felt discouraged and depressed. I have so much to do and not enough time in the day to do it. Or even if I have the time the motivation just is not there. This weekend was a tough one...I was stressing out about random odds and ends, got in a little argument with a friend, had multiple friends bail on me at different times, and a friend use the "we need to talk" phrase.

Its funny how your perspective can change so quickly though. I went and had "the talk" with my friend this evening and we are totally good. We just needed to talk and get things out in the open and we are totally fine. I have let go of the stress and will take each day as it comes.

Looking at it now I can see how lucky I am again. My friend cared about me enough to say "we need to talk". It was because she cared about our friendship that we had that conversation at all. I also over looked the fact that I had some really great conversations with some friends this weekend as well. My friend Carly was visiting from Portland and we were able to do some catching up and we got into a deep talk about our struggles with life, people, faith, and God. I also talked with my friend Tiffany who is off in Hawaii this year. It always makes my day when I get to talk with her.

So again I guess again I am coming to the conclusion that I am so lucky and blessed to have such amazing friends. This blog will be my reminder of that...

Time does fly by

I haven't written a blog since being in Honduras...and I actually was not planing to. But my good friend Tiffany Blaser who is far away in Hawaii taskfoce working told me I needed to keep it up...So this is my attempt...

Honestly I don't feel like I have anything to write that would interest anyone. I do miss that. When I was in Honduras I felt like a had a purpose and like I was doing something fun and exciting that people would actually want to read. Now I feel like I am back to the mundane life of a college student.

I have two midterms tomorrow that I am far less prepared for than I would like to be. But its close to midnight and I have given up on studying for the night. Its been an emotional day...I have cried alot. Sometimes its good to just cry.

I guess school just feels like a waist of time. What is the point of it again? I just don't have much motivation lately.

There are so many things that I miss about Honduras

1. The slow pace of life
2. Dead lines not really being dead lines
3. Tuesday being coffee day with Emily
3. Dinners with all the SM's
4. Taking a walk to central park
5. Political, God, Life talks with Mark
6. Looking out my window and seeing donkeys eating the grass
7. My students running at me when I walk in the class to give me a hug
8. Kiss on the check to say goodbye
9. Soccer
10. Listening to the rain poor down
11. The warmth
12. Watching 24 with Karen
13. The food
14. Smelly uniform shirts (at least I knew what I would wear everyday)
15. Drying my clothes on the line
16. Saturday movie nights
17. Sunday market runs
18. Cooking for 8 (how do you cook for just 1? It just seems weird and there are always left overs!)
19. Reading for fun
20. Our "family"

I have really been unorganized since being back. I can not keep up my day planer for the life of me. I am always in a rush to get stuff done. I even forgot I had a test one day! Its just different being back...I guess I am still facing some of the reentry and culture shock stuff. I thought I would be good to go by now...but not quite yet...I'm working on it...

There are things that I love about being back too though...don't worry...but its getting late...so maybe I'll make that my next blog.

Pictures! Pictures!! And More Pictures!!!

Well its actually over...we had our last day of school today! Its hard to believe that its actually over...I am really looking forward to being home and normalness again...but at the same time I am scared too. Its hard to explain.

Well here are a bunch of pictures. Julio took us up in the Bell tower of the cathedral. We each pain the guy 20 limps. Julio says money makes the monkey dance...some saying I guess. Anyway it was really cool. We got some great pictures. I actually even rang the bell...it was an accident...I was walking over to the window to look down at the shadow of the church and my leg hit the wierd and my shorts got caught. It was loud and I was scared the watch man was going to be mad...lori said he looked over real quick but I think he realized it was an accident. It was pretty funny...and now I get to say that I rang the bell! Pretty sweet!

Anyway I will be home soon! Cant wait to see you all! Much Love!

12 more days in Honduras

So its my last full day of teaching...I dont know how to feel...the mixed emotions are enough to drive a person crazy.

Tomorrow is Thursday but I only teach two classes cause we are taking both 3rd grade classes to Pizza Hut to celebrate the end of the year. Then Friday I will only have two classes as well cause we get out of school early to meet with the parents.

All next week we just place exams. The kids will leave by 11am.

Its weired. Its like the end is here and insight...and at the same time it feels so far away still...it does not feel real. Sometimes I feel like it cant come fast enough and I wish I was leaving today...but then at other times I am on the verge of crying just thinking about leaving.

Last week I was teahing in 3A just before lunch...the bell rings and all my kids go running outside. As I step out of the class room I am grabed by Ramon from 3B...he hugs me tight and says is it ture Miss. I ask him what cause I really have no idea what he is asking about. He says that you leave and go back to Walla Walla Washington (They love to say Walla Walla Washington...they think it is such a funny name). I asked him who said this...partly trying to stall actually answering him...I did not really get an answer that I could understand from him and then I tell him yes it is true I have to go home...that is where my family is and I have to finish scool myself. He just hugs me tighter and looks up at me and says no Miss I dont want you to go...and then he hopps away to go get his lunch. I had to fight back the tears as I walked to the teachers lounge. I dont want to leave him either is the thing...I dont want to leave any of my students...but as I think about him hopping off to get his lunch I know that he will be okay...and I will as well.

I got a myspace commet from one of my freinds today in response to my quote on my myspace page..."When they said Disneyland was the happiest place in the world...they really meant Walla Walla" she said its true that happiness can be found in walla walla (and other places, too). Its true! We can find happiness anywhere! Or as my mom always says...happiness is a choice. It used to dive me nuts...but in many aspects I have realy found that to be true.

Much love!
Mindy

My creative side

I went to get coffee this week during one of my free periods and sat down at one of the tabels in the mall, feeling kind of melancholy I started writing on my napkin...and this is what came out...

Life

What is life?
When all you want is more
When waking up in the morning becomes the hardest thing you ever have to do

What is wrong with this place...
This world we call home
Certainly this is not what was meant to be

There has to be more
I know there is more

Thank God this is not my home
But also thank God this journey is not over yet

There is still more...
More to learn...
More to see...
More to do...
More to say...
Yes there is still so much more.

This is life!

Crash

I was watching the movie crash the other night. If you have not seen this movie it is a must! I have seen it many times and I still just love this movie. The part that hit me last night is when Sandra Bullocks character is talking to her friend on the phone about how angry she is. She says she is angry and all the time and she does not even know why. This got me because it was not more than just a few weeks ago that I was feeling this way. I could not pin point any reason for my anger...it was just there...I would get frustrated with the other missionaries here, I was so angry at the administration, angry at this country of Honduras and the culture of these people, I was angry that I was teaching at a bilingual school of rich kids, and this then made me mad at God. Why had he brought me here to Honduras! Why did this have to be my year as a SM. I did not feel like I was making a difference in this world.

Now I don't feel like this anger anymore...maybe this is partly due to the fact that I only have 21 more days here. But I just find it interesting how this happens. How can someone get this angry? How does this emotion take over our lives like that? The movie just made me think about this...so I thought I would share.

Just another day in paradise?

This is a semi-revised journal entery for the other night...

I wake up every morning tired and exhausted from a partial night sleep where I toss and turn all night long. Partly form the heat and partly from random dreams, that seem to haunt my sleep. Dreams about home, dreams about here in Hondruas, dreams about friends…and just random dreams. I hit the snooze button at least 2 times each morning and just make it up in time to shut if off before the next alarm goes off. I shuffle my way to the bathroom where I plug in and turn on my straightener and put on my uniform…what color depends on the day. Shirts off white, maroon, gray, blue, or red. Pants black or kaki. I place my keys around my neck and my watch on my wrist and then open my door to go to the kitchen where my roommates are already making themselves breakfast and packing a lunch. As a person who hates mornings and a over all selfish human being I dream of having the house to myself at these early hours…but that is not the case so I try to be as nice as possible, sometimes this means I just don’t say anything at all. If I had this year to do over again I think I would splurge and buy that coffeepot I so often thought about. I think that would have made life a little better for everyone. But now with only 3 and a half weeks left its just not worth it.

The walk to school is filled with small talk between one or two other missionaries. By the time I have reached the school I am already hot and sweaty because the humidity is so bad. I swear the sun is hitting us straight on. Its just not right to be sweating before 7am! Then its off to a quick staff worship…its all in Spanish, a language I have learned to tune out quite well in large group settings. That is I really only understand Spanish when it is spoken directly at me in slow easy vocabulary…and even then it can be sketchy…and my answers in return seem to be limited to bien, bueno, si, no or siemprie. Its not that I have not learned other words but my brain just seems to freeze up when I have to speak.

After that the day seems to screech by in a torcherous blur of class after class of hyper, screaming, fighting kids. Don’t get my wrong…I love them to death but man they wear me out and I just wish they would be quiet for two seconds. I have figured out how to keep most of them in their seats for the most part but dang these kids have lungs on them.

Afternoons zip by way to fast with grading, errands, dinner and other chores. At the end of the day when I reflect on how it was...the things that I realize that make my day worth while are the hugs and laughs I had with my students. These next three weeks I want to remember this and take advantage of all the hugs and laughs I can have with my kids. I know they are what is going to make this place heartbreaking to leave. It really is true that as a missionary you come to teach but in reality you really are the one learning the most.